About A Boy

My son, when Andrew and I found out you were to be a boy, we were nearly speechless. I have to specify 'nearly', because if you know us at all by now, you know that your father and I are rarely quiet when surprised.

We had a bet going. It wasn't a legitimate bet, seeing as we weren't guessing on your sex based on anything substantial. No evidence, or even just feelings - we were betting based on what we wanted. He wanted a girl and I wanted a boy. I'll go into why another time.

Now I'm not sure when you'll be reading this. I'm hoping it's when you're an adult, and have a contextual understanding to life and parenthood. But that's not likely. If you're anything like us, you'll be curious and no doubt will read this before I mean for you to see it. In which case, you may not understand the happiness a parent feels just to have a healthy baby - no matter the sex. And in America, lucky as we are to be, the sex of your child does not matter. We have no great will to see our name handed down to a son, or someone to carry on the family business. No, those reasons do not matter. Our reasons for wanting one sex over the other were purely personal, and as we found out that day in the lab with the ultrasound, complete bullshit.

So, back to our bet. For a mere $5, Andrew was willing to wager that you were going to be a girl, and I was betting against, even though I thought he was right. There was no way I would be so lucky as to escape destiny - or worse - makeup and boyfriends.

But the nurse/lab technician moved the transducer probe over my belly and spotted something between your legs that could only be one thing. "Look!" she said. "XXXXXXX" [ask Andrew]   And as I said before, he and I were nearly speechless. "A boy?!" we said.
"You were right..." Andrew said.
"I didn't think I was," I exhaled, still shocked.
"Really?"
"Really."

And after that brief second of shock, we were gleeful. For many parents, knowing the sex is a step closer to making the pregnancy, and the eventual birth, a reality. It was no different for us. There is a baby, and it's got an arrival date. The clinic even gives you a packet that in a subtle way says "If you were waiting until now to make plans, it's time to get started."

My cousin Stacy and sister-in-law Jessica told me it was natural to be a little disappointed in the result, because after all, you want both. You can't have both, but you want it, and therefore there will be a slight regret. But it doesn't last long. Especially when you realize how the world has changed and a gender isn't as restrictive as it used to be. Girls can play with Legos and trucks and boys can play with dolls and dress-up without condemnation. At least, not from the younger generations.

Even so, I have to admit that I was thrilled. Selfishly, it meant that I didn't have to worry about certain things (though there are another set of worries), but also that I got to pursue some of my more tomboyish interests through you. I know I said that boys and girls could like whatever they wish, but there is still a social stigma attached to certain sports and activities, and I was instantly curious about what you would one day find interesting. Would you like running like your father? Hockey like me? Legos are a given of course. If you don't like those, we have to give you up. Sorry. :-P

So while someday a sibling or a friend may taunt you with lies such as "Your parents wanted a girl!" you can rest assured that your parents wanted you. Whether you liked basketball or Barbies was immaterial.