Here We Go

Day 1 & 2 (at 8 weeks): May 24th & 25

I just found out that I'm pregnant.

Well, sort of. I knew already. I mean, even though my at-home pregnancy tests were coming up negative, I just knew. My breasts were starting to hurt, I was cramping every day, and I was (and still am) feeling a bit nauseous here and there.

So, after missing two periods and telling my doctor (well, nurse practitioner) that I was fairly certain and that I wanted a blood test (and for some reason, that being something we had to debate about, considering my two pee tests had come out negative), we finally knew for certain that yes, I was pregnant. I had my blood test and was eagerly waiting by the phone to hear about it, but of course, in this day and age, no one calls each other. We leave passive-aggressive notes on webpages. :-P   My Park Nicollet MyChart told of my results late that night, and I found out the next morning.

I opened my laptop, went to MyChart, and squeaked (yes, it was a squeak) when I saw the note from Kathy (NP): "You're right! It's positive!" Of course I was right, I thought. Why else would my body be feeling like I was run over by a train? But anyway, I showed Andrew, and we shared a giddy moment. And then I started making phone calls.

Yes, it's early yet. Most of the websites I've looked at (and Andrew agrees) say I should wait to tell people until I'm out of my first trimester and "out of the woods," so to speak. But I had to tell some people. I was just too excited. So I talked to my sister-in-law Jessica, who was working harder than Andrew to get me pregnant. I'm tempted to ask her if she wants to be listed as the father. Then I talked to Jake and my mother. Jake was very easy going and relaxed. He knew we were trying, so I think he expected this sooner or later. "Congrats," he said. "I'm going back to bed." My mom started crying. "My baby is having a baby!" I expected that. She didn't do well at my wedding, either. But to be fair, I have given her 11 years in between these events to get ready.

Slowly over the day, and today, I called a few people. My father, Andrew's sister, my friend Liz, and because it was necessary at the time (and I didn't think of simply saying "I have a personal issue,") I let a few people I was in a meeting with know. I don't think they'll tell on me. And hopefully, everything will be fine over the next 4 weeks so I don't need to worry about who I tell.

The timing of the pregnancy isn't exactly what I wanted, but according to Kathy, I couldn't wait much longer and it could take a while, so we'd better start trying now. And it didn't take as long as I thought it would. The first six months of haphazardly trying wasn't working out, so she and Jessica both recommended I get the fertility strips. It took me a while to get around to ordering them, but just a few days after I did, my blood test confirmed I was pregnant. Those strips work so well you don't even have to use them!

Andrew definitely thought this would take longer. He seriously thought he was sterile after years on the submarine, but I think his swimmers are stronger than that. And now I have proof that they are.

But why isn't the timing right? Well, for one, I was hoping to have one last hooplah at CONvergence. Of course, with my new job as Director of Communications for GPS starting July 1st, it wasn't likely I was going to get to party it up anyway. Now I have to be a good face for an organization that I care about, and I can't go around party rockin' and boozing it up. I was also hoping this would happen after the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I do so love the mead there. And I love the Feast of Fantasy, which is a drunken meal in itself. But, that's the way things go, and considering that I got too drunk at OmegaCon in November, I think this will be good for me. And I love a challenge. I will find the best non-alcoholic-non-caffeinated beverage I can and enjoy the shit out of it. Chocolate milk is totally on my shopping list. (1)

Right now, I'm hoping for a boy. Andrew wants a girl. Andrew's sister Dawn and I agree that a boy would be easier than a girl to raise. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't know how to be a girl when I was growing up. Make-up, periods, boys... I was running blind. My mother was in Reno for most of my first boy-girl experiences, and even if she wasn't, I don't think I would have known what to ask. Not that I wasn't intelligent... I think I was just painfully awkward. I also don't want a girl because that's the next step in my prophetic dream.

I am certainly nervous. And scared. But yet...ready. For years now, Andrew and I have watched many of our friends and relatives have children before us, and we've paid attention. We've read the reposted articles on Facebook, we've listened to the advice, and we've babysat where we could. We love our niece and nephews dearly, and even though we're nervous about handling the troubled twos and teens we think we'll come out alright. We're hopeful. And that I think is the most important feeling to have right now.




1. To my future child:  I don't want you to get the idea that I'm a drunk or an alcoholic, but I do like drinking. Especially good wine. I try to be careful because your grandmother is an alcoholic and made my childhood very difficult, and I don't want to do that to you. However, by the time you are old enough to read this, you will already know that your mother and father are wine snobs, and you will no doubt think us odd. But probably not just for that. If you don't think we're weirder for other things, then you're not paying attention. Your dad's video game system collection alone should make you wonder.