I get asked a lot from friends and family how I'm feeling, and I'm really touched that so many people care. Or even that they have an idea of what I'm going through. I don't think I ever considered what pregnant women go through before now, and I'm not really sure why. I guess it just never entered my radar, so to speak.
I think that overall, I'm not feeling too bad. I've heard some horror stories, so I'm quite certain I could feel much, much worse. My first trimester, after about the 9th or 10th week, I had terrible feelings of exhaustion and nausea, and was sure I was going to throw up all the time. I didn't, thankfully, but it was hard to eat and I lost five pounds as a result.
That eased up and like all the books said it would be, the second trimester was easier. Mostly just getting bigger. I had a bit of growing pains and cramping, but nothing that I couldn't handle. I started needing the maternity clothes, and began using what my sister-in-law sent me and also found some clothes at the local thrift shop, which was much better than buying all new stuff. But here was when I started to feel big.
I'm not a small girl to begin with. I haven't been at my best size - an 11 - in years. It's my own fault and I know it. I need to eat better and exercise more, and I fully intend to take advantage of my high metabolism after the baby is born. That is, if I can find the time and energy to move. But I guess I won't have a choice, right? But anyway, I took to heart the sentiments from other women who said to not worry about my weight, and that now was the only time I didn't have to feel awkward about putting on weight.
And I don't. Especially because I haven't gained all that much. That is, I've been right on track with what my doctor wanted, so I'm pleased with that. I'm worried of course about each new step, but as long as I keep trying hard to take my vitamins and eat well, then I think I'm doing alright.
Even so, it's hard to not feel absolutely huge. I've never been this big or weighed this much, so I absolutely hate it. And now that I'm in my third trimester, there are other bodily issues that are starting to drive me insane. I won't mention any of the gross ones (there are plenty of those!), but I will say that baby movements are now more than just kicks; they're full on tumbles. And I don't sleep very well anymore; tossing and turning every night, the exhaustion back again. Of course, I'm only supposed to sleep on my left side, which is a huge burden to me. I found some ways around it, but it's still something that I struggle with.
Most recently, I've found that my legs, back and hip joints hurt a lot. I could sure use a hot tub or something, but of course, that's not allowed. Well, it's not completely forbidden, but I'm not supposed to have much time in there. Wouldn't want to boil junior.
And of course, the odd cramp-like pains. What are those? One of the articles I read said they could be fake-contraction-things, but since I'm not the only one who can't explain it well, it's not easy to define, and therefore, hard to communicate.
So, that's pretty much where I'm at. Pain. Annoyance. A person inside of me moving oddly. I'm not a fan of pregnancy. I think anyone that does this more than once is insane and anyone that does this once without really knowing what they're getting into might be borderline odd themselves.
I think it's time we created the CyberWomb so this can be done outside of the human body. Who's with me? :-D
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